So... I went to Paris.. It was cold.. I saw no strikes..I saw no riots...
disappointment.
Regardless of all these downfalls, I still had a stellar time. Like fo reals. I'll admit.. I wasn't all that excited about Paris... I don't really know why... I think it's because of how cliché the place is. I mean, it's on clothing, bags, post cards, it's everywhere in the U.S. let's not kid ourselves. Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, Notre Dame, Mona Lisa... blah blah blah.. big whoop right? WRONG! Paris was beautiful. It wasn't "dirty" like everyone says it is... the crepes are amazing.. especially the Nutella ones (more about those later).. for the most part everyone speaks english (or at least can understand you adequately) my only complaint was... it was expensive.. muy caro. Prices are jacked due to all the tourists... in the words of MC..."how dreadful!".. hahaha! Anyways.. lets get to the funny quotes, embarrassing stories, food, and flat out fun.
***Perhaps one of the most important events of my trip was the shaving of my legs... it took forever and a day and killed a razor... but I did it... you better believe I did it. :)***
Day 1: The Departure, Arrival, and First experience with food
Today Colleen and I finally got to sleep in.. our group wasn't meeting until 1245pm and so it gave us plenty of time to "Paris" ourselves up and shove more crap into our bags.. it was lovely. With our iPods and cameras fully charged and our weekend bag in hand, we set out for our bus. I was totally pumped to be traveling, and Colleen could not get over the fact that despite everything going on in Paris, we were still going.. (I think she was just mad I proved her wrong) doesn't matter we were traveling. For our trip, MC kindly made Colleen and I our favorite bocadillos: Butter with salchichas and bread.. MC is so generous with the butter.. I'm starting to think she's trying to butter me up (lame joke.. don't care).. Since I knew I probably wasn't going to be allowed to take my bocadillo through security.. and because I was hungry, I decided to down that beast on the bus. Thankfully MC didn't slather butter on both sides so I decided the butter half had to go... so gross. Once we arrived to the Granada airport, our directors began handing out our boarding passes and we proceeded to go through security. I didn't choose the right shoes to travel in.. they had laces.. and they were laced and tied.. while waiting in a crammed line... that's dangerous... especially when you have terrible balance... not to worry though, I only almost face planted into the back of the guy in front of me once and people only gave me crap about it once. I'm really beginning to make progress... either that or it's becoming the norm for them.. dang. So I make it through security without being frisked although, I'm pretty sure I could have brought a bazooka through and they wouldn't have noticed.. scary. Anyways, after security we waited for a bit and headed outside to our plane. Walking out on that massive runway made me feel like I was in the oh, so great movie TOP GUN... I tried to reference the movie to someone and they looked at me like I was an alien (where's Dad when you need him?.. Texas.. that's where).. I then returned the favor when I found out they had never seen the movie.. Take that you rock dweller (as in they live under a rock).
Once on the plane I was totally bummed to not be sitting next to anyone I knew and also to be sitting in the middle... thankfully (I need a synonym) the flight attendant realized how intelligent and responsible I looked and asked me to sit on an EMERGENCY ROW... BY MYSELF! (MAJOR WIN!) I'll tell you what.. I had space galore and I was pumped, but I remembered my responsibility... I studied those 5-step directions til I could do them in my sleep (if need be.. but not likely). When the turbulence hit, I studied them extra hard.. I even went through the motions (like when you are about to shoot a free throw).. that plane ride made me nervous.. but only because prior to us getting on the plane our director told us more in-depth about all the shenanigans in Paris. I/we obviously survived. On my 2 hour flight I did the following:
- Listened to Breakaway/Grace Bible podcast
- Jammed to music
- Wrote in journal
- Practiced emergency procedure
Once we landed, we were all gifted the lovely surprise of freezing cold wind and rain.. Luckily I brought my umbrella; unluckily it didn't open properly and people were behind me so I just weathered the weather. One word... BURR! Then we boarded our next bus and it drove us to our hotel where Sarah and I attempted to find our room. Because the elevators were tiny and slow, Sarah and I opted to take the stairs. Let me just tell you something.. those boogers were treacherous. Skinny and spiraled. We almost "biffed it" (Wisconsin for "busted") several times going up to the 5th floor... we made it nevertheless. Once to the 5th floor, we found our room situated at the bottom of 4 stairs all the way down the hall.. (I guess you could argue that we were on floor 41/2), but whatever.. the room number was 506. After Sarah and I made sure the room was up to our standards, we went to round-up Sam and Evelyn to conquer the unconquerable.. eating. Let me just tell you something.. I don't speak a LICK of French.. the language just doesn't appeal to me.. honestly.. I don't think it's a pretty language (gasp).. I think it sounds like some one classily hauking a lugi... (German is the lugi language). Anyway.. as usual.. it take us forever to find a place to eat and what do we choose.. probably one of the sketchiest restaurants possible.. but you know what? They were nice.. spoke the bare minimum of english... and sold cheap food. I had a panini. It was pretty tasty. After that we got bored.. we were too tired to try to find the Eiffel Tower.. and nothing was open (the French are lame compared to the Spanish.. they close early) so we went back to our rooms and crashed and rested up for the next day's festivities.
Day 2: Bus Tour, Killer Pick-Up lines, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and Crotch Grabbing
Day 2 was the real deal... no long-distance traveling, no luggage, no nothin'. Today's adventure was all around Paris. First stop; the cathedral where Napoleon was buried. This is where the amazing pick up lines took place. I get off the bus, marvel at the cathedrals beauty and all of a sudden I hear, "Hello Lady Gaga Sexy Chocolate" I immediately do 2 things:
- Check myself for any form of bubble wrap, leotard, or fake hair
- Look at my hands to make sure I can still keep the race "Caucasian" on my passport (that could really cause issues on the way back to the states.)
I turn around and there is this man black as night shaking a huge ring full of Eiffel Tower key chains at me and another flashing me his postcards by holding on to one and letting the rest fall down ( a lot like in the movies when you see someone pull our their wallet and lots of pictures fall out) trying to get me to buy something from them... I won't lie.. it was pretty scary... they reminded me of seagulls.. which if you are a member of my immediate family... you know I can't stand. Needless to say I said "No gracias"(still in France mind you... it's habit) and scurried off. After all that stress I needed to blow off some steam with some jumping pics... Sarah and I jumped about a million times and the person using my camera just couldn't catch one of us in the air... it's alright though.. others were amused by us and they got pics of us as well. Once back on the bus, we went to other historical places, saw historical things.. nothing too exciting.. I took a million pictures of the Eiffel Tower, couple hundred thousand of Notre Dame. etc. The cool thing about Notre Dame was that we went in on a Sunday and they were having a Catholic mass while we were all walking though it... I kind of felt disrespectful, but it was super cool to experience. Notre Dame was the last stop on our tour so, as usual... our directors threw us to the streets of Paris (luckily we grabbed a map) and attempted to make our way home.
On our way home, we just so happened to stop at a yummy little crepe stand that sold... NUTELLA CREPES!! I just about peed my pants I was so pumped... I was also pumped because it made me think of my FN and how he makes them as well. :D It was the best crepe of my life. No lies. After the heavenly crepe experience, we went to find some gardens that were suggested and on our way there, Sarah got her crotch grabbed by not one but TWO 10yr. old boys... none of us saw it coming.. nor did we see it happen, but she swears it did. It then started to rain..did I have my umbrella with me? No. Was I cold? No duh. But that's ok.. they had a nifty little gazebo we stood under and took ridiculous pictures of ourselves. Fun times. After the rain had stopped/slowed we FINALLY made it back to our hotel and we. were. exhausted. our feet hurt so we ran HOT, soapy water and sat around the tub for some feet soakage... this was my first experience with foot soakage, but it was real nice. I recommend it.
Once we finished our foot soakage, we made like Tetris pieces and all (somehow) crammed comfortably onto our two twin sized beds and took a nice long nap. That night we set out for the Eiffel Tower... we had seen it on our bus tour, but we wanted the up close and personal view... and we wanted to see it sparkle (it sparkled every hour on the hour for 5 min.) On our way to the tower we decided to treat ourselves to a good meal and stopped in at this restaurant where I once again had trouble with the door. One door wouldn't work, so I tried the other and successfully knocked over a plant.. I then tried to pick it up, but the waiter quickly herded me inside and said he would get it.. my friends made fun of me. Again, we had the joy of ordering... luckily the waiter spoke more english than the panini guys and we actually had a menu to point at... ordering was easy that night. The best part of the meal was the chocolate mousse that came for dessert.. my happy hormones were going crazy. As usual it took forever to get the check and by that time we were all running down the street trying to make it to Eiffel before the hour, unfortunately, we didn't make it.. nor were we as close to the structure as we thought.. I don't know if you know this or not, but it's the tallest tower in the world.. you can see it from pretty far away.
Seeing to how we didn't make it, we decided to wander around the grounds... it wasn't long before we got stopped by an "Pakistani Indian" (that's what he called himself) he was trying to get our friend Sam to date him as well as sell us alcohol.. but then when he told him we didn't drink he said he liked good girls that don't drink.. he was a confused man..... we finally escaped the Pakidan (Pakistani Indian) and the next thing we saw was a RAT... it could have doubled as a small dog. There are way too many gross things that hang out at such a pretty structure.. By this time we still had tons of time to kill... what did we do? Took jumping pics under the Eiffel Tower... were we embarrassed? No.. not really... the French have enough to be embarrassed about so they can't really look at people and think, "That's embarrassing." About 20min before the hour, (remember it sparkles every hour on the hour) Collen decides she has to go to the bathroom... typical... unable to muster up the courage to ask herself.. and also unable to refrain from complaining that she had to go to the bathroom, I decide to walk over to a staff member (who I KNOW speaks English because they get thousands of visitors a year) and easily ask her where the nearest bathroom is... she points me in the direction and I drag Colleen to the said location... when we get there we can't figure out how to work the bathroom.. it's weird.. it's like a high tech porta-potty.. you push a button and the door is supposed to slide open... it must have been closed already because none of us could figure out how to open the dang thing. I then went on to try to convince Colleen to just go in the park (it was empty)... rough it a little. She refused (shocker) and we hurried back to the tower to ensure good spots. While we were waiting, Sam and I were sitting on a barricade when this Indian man (a different one) comes up to Sam and I and asks us if we have any rolling paper... it was obvious he didn't want rolling paper... he just wanted to talk to Sam... Thankfully, the tower started to sparkle and we hopped up and got our cameras ready to snap some sweet pics. Then we walked home and played a mean (very real game of Frogger)... adrenaline rush to the max (Mom, Dad... don't think anything of this.. it's easier)...we were tired, satisfied, and happy.
Day 3: The Louvre, Pasta, and Minimal walking.
We went to the Louvre today. Biggest museum in the world. I saw the Mona Lisa... yes it was small.. no I was not disappointed; I knew it was going to be small. The thing that disappointed me was that more than likely the Mona Lisa we saw was a copy due to all the terrorist threats and strikes... it's fine.. I got the jist...and I don't really understand why it's so famous... it's something about how the artist was able to create movement with in a still-life portrait.. Idk.. Jade (our tour guide had a lot to say about it and I was too busy muscling my way to the front of the ropes to try to get a good picture... that was a fail) After the Louvre, we decided to go find food.. we settled on this REALLY GOOD pasta place... it was funny because Sam walked up to the counter and said, "Bonjour... Do you speak English?".. that's one of my favorite things about Sam.. she gets straight to the point. The cashier and the rest of us laughed at her... after stuffing our faces, we went back to the hotel, napped again (we are used to siesta.. and due to the fact the "strike" was going on, there was quite a bit still not opened). Then we treated ourselves to McDonald's McFlurries... we just had to get McDonald's in another country... never again. Muy caro.
Day 4: The Voyage Home
We spent 8 hours traveling this day... nothing exciting
Funny quotes from the trip:
"And on our right we will see 2 Chinese men." -Jade, our tour guide
"And on this side we have the Gay district, the homosexuals.... and that's ok."-Jade
" I realized it, but did you realize that's the Eiffel Tower"-Me... it was the running joke... they never missed an opportunity.
"I wore my sparkle headband for the Eiffel Tower's sparkle."-Evelyn
"I am Pakistani [boom boom (makes gun with hands)] and from India [makes punching noises]"-The Pakidan
"[holding change in her hands after I told her she should get rid of some of her change]I did! I gave a bunch to the nuns!"-Colleen
"I've never kissed anyone with facial hair.. I mean I used to kiss my dad when I was younger, but I don't remember what it felt like."-Sarah (we died laughing when she said this.. she didn't realize how wrong it sounded)
"How big is your charger hole?"-Sarah.. she was on a role
"They would be sexy if they didn't have such man faces."-Colleen about the French guards
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